SOMETIMES I DON’T COMB MY HAIR - 5 Tips to Move Your Toward Your Dreams

SOMETIMES I DON’T COMB MY HAIR

by Brenda A. White

Sometimes I’m home all day and I don’t comb my hair, but I’m still beautiful. :-)  Besides, the focus for the day was staying home and writing, not glamour.  My point is, get so focused on something that small distractions in that moment don't matter. I encourage you to believe in your long term goal. Believe that through every obstacle, the overall result will be worth your while. Everything counts... everything can add up to the little successes. Whether it takes a week, a month, a year, keep at it.  I believe you have what it takes!

I didn’t just wake up one morning with three books written. I didn’t just wake up and become a great facilitator and leader who gets results. I didn’t just wake up one morning and complete a half marathon and a full marathon. I planned for it, I worked for it, and I never gave up. Although the thoughts and desires of every accomplishment may have come earlier, the actual work took time. Years before I became a regional technology trainer at a Fortune 500 company, I trained junior high students while in college, for free. I hopped out of bed early to get the long walks/runs in preparation for the 13.1 miles and later the 26.2 miles. Years before a published book was in the readers’ hands, I spent hours each night and most weekends, while working fulltime and fulfilling other obligations, and writing until it was done. I educated myself on each of these things so I could get it right as best I could. I was passionate about it. I was focused on it.

Be careful about assuming someone became a success overnight. We didn’t. Again, believe in your long term goal. Believe that the overall result will be worth your while. Everything counts... everything can add to the little successes. Whether it takes a week, a month, a year, keep at it.  You have what it takes.

Nelson Mandela said, “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”  So, my prayer is that you will make the choice to reflect on your hopes, build your dreams, develop a plan, and make things happen.

So, here are five tips to get you going:

▲   Write your desires and dreams on paper, and then put it where you can see it daily.

▲   Make a plan (set goals) with a reasonable timeline to tackle each one.

▲  Make the sacrifice, give up something to focus more attention, time, money on that thing.

▲   There will be obstacles, so maintain a positive outlook no matter what. You have to be persistence and consistent ... do it for a year and look back to see if it’s serving you well or not.

▲   Watch your dream become a reality and let that positive person in your life know so they can shout with you! And if you let me know, I will shout, too!

So, do the work, people are cheering for you, and don’t worry about your hair.

That’s why I don’t comb my hair, sometimes. :-)

YOU’RE IN CORPORATE AMERICA, YOU MAY AS WELL PERFORM WELL

by Brenda A. White

Your personal success begins with you. You will encounter successes, challenges, and opportunities in the process, but the success of your life ultimately begins and ends with you.

Why did your organization hire you? What have you done lately to bring value? What have you done that is remarkable? Do you know what’s expected of you? Knowing the answers to these questions at any given moment could potentially keep you ready for increase, promotion, or maybe a great performance review. Let me throw in this little disclaimer: please understand an organization’s obligation is to pay you for the work you did the previous two weeks. Although they might give merit increases, profit sharing, bonuses, and equity, you might not be in line to get any of them even with excellent performance. It could depend on a number of things. Maybe I’ll cover that in another post at a later date.

Here are 15 things that have been successful for me and kept me focused in my career:

1.              Know the expectations, know the goals, know the results. Just stay in the know.

2.            Be intentional – seek to understand the business, even the business outside of your      department. Meet new people, the power of relationships is magical.

3.           Reach out to help someone else - Serve those around you – Be generous with your resources, don’t always be the one asking for help, provide it also. Figure out how to serve and help other people. You might establish your brand as the expert on a particular revenue generating task.

4.             Know your gifts and talents – Don’t make your degrees your only shoe in. What makes you amazing? Because you really are amazing. Know what that is. If you can’t figure it out, ask a trusted person what they think it is. Remember, you are amazing.

5.             Become comfortable with your presentation skills. Tell your own story, always. Sell yourself. Always have the latest successful thing you did on the front of the brain. When a manager asks you, what have you been up to? Or how’s it going? Please have more to say than “I’m just keeping busy.” You bring so much more than that! Also, work on the presentation skills of speaking in front of a group of people.

6.             Manage your emotions – your emotional intelligence, stay positive, have a pleasing personality, demonstrate grace under pressure, defuse conflict, find ways to relieve stress. You’ll experience healthier relationships. If you need coffee before you get started, get it before you get to the office. If you still come across difficult people, figure out a way around them, but don’t step on them.

7.             Seek knowledge, education, and information, and use wisdom to apply it.

8.             Read or listen to at least one great book per month. Create your own library physically and electronically. If you don’t have that “miscellaneous books” line item in your budget, check them out from your local library. Some libraries will allow you to download (borrow) books for free on your phone or tablet.

9.             Subscribe and listen to informational on-demand radio programs in your area of interest – podcasts, magazines, and blogs. Create an email address specifically for this type stuff, since most subscriptions require one. I use YouTube, iTunes, Flipboard to listen to and read areas I want to learn more information.

10.         Attend at least one seminar per year. Ask your company to budget for it.  (Even if your company doesn’t pay for it, invest in yourself) and go with the intent to learn at least one great idea to implement. Try to make at least one connection to stay in touch once or twice a year, even if it’s sharing information, like an article that you read and you think they’d find in interesting. Meeting too many people at a conference and not making genuine connections will stress you out and you probably won’t keep in touch anyway. Oh, but when you do make the right connections, it’s indeed magical.

11.         Take at least two courses in your areas of interest. – Information improves and changes fast. So explore ones that can give you skills that you need. You can find some for free. Sometimes free or low cost like www.Udemy.com, www.creativelive.com, or others.  

12.          Stay in good health and good appearance. Success is not just about making money.

13.          Use your vacation days to rejuvenate, recharge. Every vacation day doesn’t have to be actually going somewhere or doing something. Mental health days are important.

14.         Get a mentor. Mentors can help guide you on your journey. I prefer genuine mentor/mentee relationships, but some organizations have programs where they will assign mentors. If you have not found one or assigned one, ask for one or seek your own. Remember, this is your career; you should ultimately make all decisions regarding your career, based on what you hear/gain from others. Note: Your manager is not your mentor.

15.         If your current organization is not working for you, find one that does. You have a whole world out there to explore. There’s no sense in wasting their time and yours.

What steps will you take to perform better this year?

7 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT WRITING A BOOK

by Brenda A. White

I started writing as a hobby during my teen years. I became more serious in 2000 and I published my first novel in March 2010 and man oh man, have I learned a lot about writing since then and I’m still learning. With a high school diploma, two degrees, and a boatload of experience under my belt, I thought this journey would be fairly easy. It’s not! Even with a passion for writing, it's not! It requires a lot of additional learning and focus. Thank God I'm a life-long learner, because I love this stuff!

At every book signing or speaking event, people ask for advice on how to start writing. There are many ways to get started, but here are seven things that I've learned and will hopefully get you started:

1.   Read. Watch movies. Read a lot, books in your genre, books outside of your genre.

2.   Take writing classes/workshops so you can learn with and from other people, but do not copy another author’s work.

3.   Invest in your craft. Get a Writing Coach.

4.   Determine your own style to write and flow with it. Just write, don’t edit while you’re writing, you’ll waste too much time. Throw all the words on the page while your thoughts are fresh. You can go back and fix it later. I’m still learning this…

5.   Give your editor the best draft possible. Editors are human and they can miss things, too. So you need to go through at least four drafts before they get it, including one where you read it out loud.

6.   Understand that there are different levels to this professional editing thing (Copy, Content, Proofreading) Make sure you understand what comes with the quoted price from an editor.

7.   Typesetting is tedious. Pay someone else to do it. I’ve moved on to the next book while the typesetting process is happening.

There’s so much more to publishing and so many options out there... Self-publishing, vanity publishing, Amazon, ISBN #s, Barcodes, cover design, marketing, etc.

Where are you in your writing journey? Drop a note below and let me know.

7 Pearls to Manage Your Personal Brand

7 Pearls to Manage Your Personal Brand

Published in The Church Without Walls Mosaic Women's Maglendar 2016 

by Brenda A. White

Heyyy! How you doin’?  I have a question for you. Are you who God called you to be or are you who you’ve learned to be? Each of us has a unique value, a God-given talent, and identity; that thing that we have and the way we do it like no one else. Just like going to one of the popular painting parties, everyone is charged with painting the same picture but in the end, not one is the same. Psalms 139:13-14 says For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Yep! You are just that good! You have to believe that.  Who you are at your core is how God designed you. You need to understand what that is for you and you need to be clear about it. For example, in my office I’m known as a coach, motivator, creative individual, a good listener, a leader who will ask all the right questions to get you to your answer, and one who influences results. I make adjustments in my behavior and style depending on my audience to get the most out of the situation. I never planned to be that person. I am just that person at my core.  I can’t help it. I find it easier to be authentic because I’d forget to be anything different. Among my family and friends, I’m many different things but still some of the same things I am at work… the coach, the motivator, the listener. I’m known to shop for a good, comfortable pair of stilettos; I enjoy sports and the company of books, bags, and journals. I’m also known by a few leading statements, “I was thinking…” and “You should…” which often leads to widened eyes and I guess, heart palpitations because they know a challenge toward their dream is coming.

Personal branding has a long tail with lots of information and studies on the market; I am exploring just a small portion from my personal experiences. I want to help you get moving and understand your personal brand, understand what people experience when they interact with you, because building effective and productive relationships with others is essential in managing your personal brand. Getting quality feedback is extremely important, so ask someone whom you trust, who knows you well, and will tell you the absolute truth while ensuring they do not dictate who you should be, but rather how they experience you. How do you want to impact those around you? Take a moment and think about these things: What are your strengths? What are your abilities? What are you good at? What are you passionate about? What do you desire? What drives you? What motivates you? What are your relationships like with your family, friends, and colleagues? How do you show up physically and mentally at work, play, church, and school? How effective are you when you show up that way? Do you have a mentor? Do you have a sponsor, that person who’s at the table and champions decisions on your behalf? Lastly, what area of the market (career, church, and community) needs you?

Understanding the answers to these questions is paramount and will get you on your way to understanding how God designed you into the goodness that you are. I assure you it will bring you more joy, happiness, and success than you could ever imagine.

My prayer is that you, a Mosaic Woman will:

1.   Be uniquely you, authentic -- God designed you just the way He wanted you.

2.   Know your value-add, leverage your strengths, learn more about yourself, ask for quality feedback, and act on it.

3.   Know your passion and your purpose – why you’re here and who you’re serving.

4.   Step up to stand out in personal appearance, written and verbal communication, and tell your own story.

5.   Offer a strong first experience – be genuine, be intentional, listen emphatically.

6.   Pray and ask God to show you who you are and what He wants to do in your life.

7.   Document your plan of action and execute it well.

Again, I ask, are you who God called you to be or are you who you’ve learned to be?

Let’s talk about it…

BRENDA A. WHITE’S TIPS FOR MAXIMIZING YOUR BOOK FESTIVAL EXPERIENCE

 

www.BrendaAWhite.com

@BrendaAWhite

#TheBestIHavetoOffer       #TheFinalOffer     #BrendaAWhite

Over the past five years, I have participated in several book  festivals. I’ve had a multitude of experiences and I’ve met a lot of authors who I keep in touch with today.  I have been intentional about finding people who I genuinely connect with, to share information and work together in this literary game to get our stories out into the world.  At the end of the day, if people don’t know you, they can’t buy your book. What is your next move?

 

o  Smile always

o  Stand occasionally (or at least when readers are at your table)

o  Be genuine

o  Tell the reader about  your book in 30 seconds or less

o  Engage fellow authors - you just might find a business partner - this is a business.

o  Engage readers (e.g. What kind of books do you like to read? Are you familiar with my work?)

o  Introduce other authors to readers

o  Capture email addresses of the readers – your most valuable asset

o  Flood social media sites with content about you, the event, authors, and quotes from experts.  (e.g. on FaceBook, Instagram, Twitter, Periscope, YouTube, Pinterest) - If you’re not social, you’re not visible. Which site are your readers on?

o  Connect with other authors on social media -- expand your network.

o  Take pictures with readers (book clubs) and ask for permission to post the pictures

o  Tag other authors (with permission and if they are in the picture)

o  In addition to your hash tags, use the event's hashtag (e.g. #NBBF2015)

o  Text your friends /family and ask them to share your posts/status updates

o  Do a give-a-way for liking your Author page, for buying your book, for providing an email address, signing up for your newsletter, etc

o  Leave comments about books you’ve read on social media sites, GoodReads, Amazon, Nook

o  Create an Author Page on Amazon, GoodReads, FaceBook and do a give-a-way

o  Drink plenty of water

o  Maintain fresh breath

o  Remember, readers come to the festival with a budget to buy books

o  Keep in touch

Have fun and enjoy the experience!

Choices Within, LLC
...unleash the power within you.

#TheBestIHavetoOffer       #TheFinalOffer    

#BrendaAWhite        #kissed180

www.BrendaAWhite.com

@BrendaAWhite

THE FINAL OFFER A NOVEL

THE FINAL OFFER A NOVEL
Available Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Hello Everybody!

I am set to release my sophomore novel, The Final Offer on Tuesday, June 16, 2015 in paperback format on my website www.brendaawhite.com and eBook format on Amazon Kindle and Barnes & Noble Nook. The Final Offer is a story of love, fear, betrayal, and forgiveness. The storyline is a continuation of my debut novel, The Best I Have to Offer.  Through humor and a drama filled journey, I demonstrate the importance of bringing your complete self into a relationship while striving for continuous self-improvement and maturity through joy, pain, and adversity.

In my books, I try to bring excitement around developing relationships, true friendships, entrepreneurship, dealing with family, and other outside influences that require time, attention, and talent to resolve. I want readers to know that intentionally giving the best they have to offer in any situation is vital.  There are three underlying messages in my novels that I hope people will understand:

1.      YOU MUST ALWAYS BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOU – Your authentic self is who you will be long term; so own it and strive to improve. Behaving like someone else or pretending for someone new will not last.

2.      KNOWLEDGE IS POWER - Ask the right questions in the beginning. The excitement of meeting someone new and having that chemistry that ignites is powerful. But, it’s still important slow down and get to know who the person really is by asking the right questions and observing patterns through different experiences with the person.

3.      FORGIVENESS IS FOR YOU – Set yourself free, forgiveness is not for the wrongdoer, it’s for you. Exercise your freedom by not allowing the weight to hold you down. Holding on to past hurts can have major consequences in the end.

Readers will engage and understand these things for themselves. The book is 336 pages. A paperback copy is $15.00 and the ebook is $9.99.

Brenda’s stories are relevant and intriguing.  This sequel will captivate the sensibility of single professionals who are working hard to find love, joy and happiness while balancing their commitment to their careers, friends, family and their own self-discovery. ~Dr. Michael L. McFrazier, Vice President of Administration and Chief of Staff – Prairie View A&M University and co-editor and publisher of “College Student Self-Efficacy Research Studies.”

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   Available June 16, 2015

Pre-order your copy today!

www.brendaawhite.com

Thank you for your support! ~Brenda A. White

MY MOMENT IN HISTORY

Published in The Church Without Walls Mosaic Women's Maglendar 2015 

by Brenda A. White

MY MOMENT IN HISTORY

If not now, then when? That was the question I asked myself several years ago as I neared the suggested age of having children and was not married. Many people saw me as jovial, charismatic, energetic, and always encouraging others to pursue the dreams within. I was happy and “living on top of the world” but I was sad in a sense that I would not be able to pour into a little soul and leave a legacy on this earth after I’m no longer here. But God! He has blessed me and showed me that I can still leave a legacy in other ways by continuing to pour into people, young and older just as I’ve always done. I have thirty-five nieces and nephews, multiple generations, and I feel like they’re my children, too! I just didn’t have to go through the labor pains to claim it. I knew I needed to leave a legacy for them and others. I stopped listening to people and getting frustrated because I did not have biological children and started listening to God. If not now, then when?

I have always enjoyed pouring into others, making them laugh, mentoring and helping ordinary people achieve their dreams, improve, and start from where they were to achieve a greater goal. I encouraged people using the scripture, Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. (KJV) “Work the power within, work the power you have within you, exercise your faith. You can be great.” I’d say. I had dreams, too. I had a vision, I had goals. I wanted to write; I wanted to teach and entertain through words. I had to use the same advice that I provided to other people on myself. I couldn’t sit around feeling sorry about one aspect of my life that didn’t pan out the way I or anyone else thought it should. I knew I had a lot more life to live and a lot more imprints to make on this earth. My original plan was not God’s plan so I had to get in His will and understand what he had for me to do.  Breaking it down one goal at a time, I finally accomplished a childhood dream -- writing a novel to inspire and entertain readers. If not now, then when? This is what I did...

I developed a closer relationship with Christ through reading His Word and prayer to make sure I was walking according to His will. I live in a larger city, much different from where I grew up. I stopped just going to church and leaving without fellowshipping with other believers. I began taking spiritual growth classes thereby making the church smaller because I was getting to know other people. I had friends who introduced me to other people and on and on. I have a church family now. I have a closer relationship with Jesus Christ now. If not now, then when?

I dreamed and I got a vision, I prayed and made it plain by creating a vision board. I needed something visual to keep in front of me and to keep me focused long term. I created categories: spiritual, career, finances, health/wellness, personal goals, and some material things as a way of celebrating after I reached each milestone. I included all of the things that I dreamed about in the past and future including every title to books that I wanted to write. I had a dream. If not now, then when?

I developed a plan because I knew that faith without works is dead. I attended writing conferences, writing classes to hone my craft. I learned the process and talked to many experts on how to do it. At times, I became frustrated and discouraged because of what I was hearing from everyone who had an opinion but I remained focused on the plan. I spent time writing often. Words turned into paragraphs turned into a 339 page novel that people actually enjoyed reading. If not now, then when?

I took a risk and stepped out on faith to put my work into the world with a slight fear of being judged by readers or simply rejected and not liked by readers, including my friends. My editor cringes at my punctuation but that's why I hired her. :-) I spent the money I had saved to publish my book. I just did it. I went for it and it was successful. Now I’m working on my second novel with a total of fifteen titles on my vision board. I will accomplish my goals, one step at a time, and one book at a time. If not now, then when?

I still make mistakes, wrong moves, wrong responses but I learned from each of them and try my best not to repeat them. I understand Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.

Lesson learned: Stay in God’s will and His Word and he will order your steps. He will open doors for me and my gifts will make room for me. This one accomplished goal will bear more fruit that will afford me the opportunity to leave a legacy in additional ways.  If not now, then when?

What will be your legacy?

Brenda A. White

www.brendaawhite.com